Shame

The last couple days I've fallen off the wagon- already! I'm such an all or nothing person, it's hard to keep motivated to stay on a meal plan that should only have me losing about a pound per month. I know that's the healthy way to go in order not to yo-yo, and I'm glad that I'm eating enough to be full all the time. At the same time, I want to see results and see them now.
Yesterday I had a difficult therapy session. Nothing in particular went wrong, but I just feel like I've plateaued. Afterwards, I needed to go for some groceries, and instead of getting something healthy, I bought some chips and dip as well as some skittles. I told myself that I'd get on a better track today, but after waking up too late to go on my morning run, I ended up eating the rest of the junk food and then taking a nap.
I do feel ashamed, but I'm trying to step out of old patterns. For a lot of us, we set a goal, break it, feel guilty, and then give up on the goal. I want instead just to make tomorrow a fresh start. Quitting smoking often takes several attempts, so maybe for me, getting onto the healthy eating and exercising track is going to take more than one try.
In college, I weighed 125lbs; now I weight 140. My goal is to get down to 130, as I think that's a healthy adult weight for me.
My other goal is to run a half marathon in the spring and a full marathon next fall.
I want to achieve those goals, so tomorrow I'm going to get up and try again.

Carrying the weight

3 miles of running in this morning. Today was an easy day to fit it in as I don't have to be at work till 11AM. Tomorrow, when I have to get up early will be the acid test of how determined I am.
The 3 miles were a struggle. I weigh at least 15 pounds more than I did when I was running in undergrad, and on the trails the extra weight is a strain.
But if studies have shown anything, it's that diets don't work. I could eat 1200-1500 cals a day for a while, and I'd lose the weight fast. Chances are good, though, that I would yo-yo back to where I started. So, instead, I'm going to eat the same number of calories per day that it took to maintain my weight back when I was running regularly. Hopefully, my weight will then very gradually ease back where it was. We'll see:)

My first post

I've never written a blog before, and I have some doubts about whether I'll be able to do it now and if so whether anyone would be interested in reading it. So, I'm mainly going to treat this as a form of online diary of my quest:)

I'm a long distance runner turned couch potato who suffers from generalized anxiety disorder. Medications have had limited effect, so I'm now going to try some more "natural" techniques for anxiety control- exercising, eating healthy, seeing a good therapist, and trying to work my way through "Get out of your mind and into your life" by Stephen Hayes, because I'm a big fan of ACT therapy. I doubt I can explain ACT nearly as well as wiki can, so go take a look!